Older relatives just not interested

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ForzaItaliaPgh
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Older relatives just not interested

Postby ForzaItaliaPgh » 16 Oct 2010, 04:21

Ciao tutti,

Has anyone else found that the older generations of their family just are not interested in any of the family history you are uncovering? I'm 30 and my uncles (in their 50's) just show a complete lack of interest in any of our shared family history. And forget about my grandparents, they actually are rather hostile, as my research is not agreeing with what they have always said. For example, the names of my GGF's parents and brothers are different than family lore recalls and no amount of documentation will ever change my 80 yr old GF's mind. :)

It's not that big of a deal, but I kind of thought this would be more interesting to the rest of the family. Anyone else run into this?

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby JPMessina44 » 16 Oct 2010, 04:26

I'm going thru this myself. My grandfathers' wife seems more interested than the remaining family members of my grandfathers side. It almost seems like they just dont want it uncovered or they are hiding something that they are concerned I will find out. You're not alone though, I get that feeling as well.

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby johnnyonthespot » 16 Oct 2010, 09:16

Every genealogical researcher has similar stories to tell; not just of older generations not being interested, but also siblings and our own children as well.

I think that genealogy is a passion which cannot be understood until you have tasted it, sort of like escargot - which I am told by people who partake that they are wonderful; nevertheless, I have no intention of ever putting one of them in my mouth. :)
Carmine

My hobby is finding things. Having found most of my own, I am happy to help others find theirs. PM me! :)

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Squigy » 16 Oct 2010, 09:53

johnnyonthespot wrote:Every genealogical researcher has similar stories to tell; not just of older generations not being interested, but also siblings and our own children as well.

I think that genealogy is a passion which cannot be understood until you have tasted it, sort of like escargot - which I am told by people who partake that they are wonderful; nevertheless, I have no intention of ever putting one of them in my mouth. :)


I agree. I never would have gotten into it at all, if not for some off handed comment my mother made about her great grandfather being the daughter of some dignitary (which we still can't prove/debunk!). Before, years ago, my mom tried to get my siblings and me interested in our father's ancestry, but we couldn't be bothered.

Anyway, some of my family members are really interested in it, some are kind of interested in it, and others just don't give a crap. Age really doesn't make a big difference.
My Italian surnames:

Caserta: Maietta, Rossano, Tessitore, Negro, Peluso, Musone

Campobasso: D'Andrea, Barile

Catanzaro: Fiorelli/Fiorillo, Romito

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Squigy » 16 Oct 2010, 10:04

johnnyonthespot wrote:I think that genealogy is a passion which cannot be understood until you have tasted it, sort of like escargot - which I am told by people who partake that they are wonderful; nevertheless, I have no intention of ever putting one of them in my mouth. :)


That's snails, right? I hear people eat pancreas, too, and cow tongue. It's amazing what people will stuff down their throats :P !
My Italian surnames:



Caserta: Maietta, Rossano, Tessitore, Negro, Peluso, Musone



Campobasso: D'Andrea, Barile



Catanzaro: Fiorelli/Fiorillo, Romito

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby maestra36 » 16 Oct 2010, 12:47

I don't think it's true that older relatives are not interested in family history, nor do I think age has anything to do with an interest in the subject.

My mother's one first cousin was well into his 70s when I was first put into contact with him by another cousin's wife. He had already compiled a lot of family history info because his grandchildren were asking him questions. My being in contact with him got an entire group of her first cousins into the research. My maternal grandmother who was born in 1893, and died in 1988, still has two first cousins (sisters) in their 90s, who are alive and living in California. The one had actually posted on genealogy message boards when she was in her 80s, which is how I first made contact with them. They were even thrilled to find stories about themselves in the old Poughkeepsie, NY newspapers, when I sent them the Old Fulton History website. My dad died a year before I started my research, and my mom wasn't very interested until right before she died in 2004. At that point, she started rattling off all kinds of family stories for me to record. My husband hates genealogy and thinks it's a complete waste of time and money, but his three younger brothers (in their 50s) are now asking me all kinds of questions about their ancestry. My sons are in their upper 20s and so far only my older son has shown any interest. He is mainly interested in my father's World War II experiences with the First Special Services Force. It was this son, however, who told me that he would never look at the documents, but would only be interested in the family history if it were in book form. That's what prompted me to start to write a book more than a year ago, of which I now have some 320 pages written

I've gotten info from other older relatives over the years. Some sent me old photos and shared stories. Although they initially saw no point to the research, I think they were lonely because they were widowed, and the family history information gave them someone with whom to communicate and something to look forward to, as I found new information and asked for their input.

I now have first cousins who are very interested, as well as one aunt, in her early 70s, and and one uncle, almost 80. I also have my mom's oldest friend, now 91, who is very interested. She knew my mom from the time they were both 4 years old and knew my mom's father, brother, and paternal grandmother, who all died before I was born and I never knew. She has been a wealth of information concerning my mom’s paternal ancestry.

Personally I don't think an interest in family history has anything to do with age. Some people like me just love to do research and to keep discovering more new information. I always thought that by now I would have lost interest in this research, but every new piece of information, regardless of how small, still sends me over the edge. My motivation has never been about getting dual citizenship. It’s always been about knowing my ancestry and who I really am.

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Squigy » 16 Oct 2010, 13:43

maestra36 wrote:I don't think it's true that older relatives are not interested in family history, nor do I think age has anything to do with an interest in the subject.

My mother's one first cousin was well into his 70s when I was first put into contact with him by another cousin's wife. He had already compiled a lot of family history info because his grandchildren were asking him questions. My being in contact with him got an entire group of her first cousins into the research. My maternal grandmother who was born in 1893, and died in 1988, still has two first cousins (sisters) in their 90s, who are alive and living in California. The one had actually posted on genealogy message boards when she was in her 80s, which is how I first made contact with them. They were even thrilled to find stories about themselves in the old Poughkeepsie, NY newspapers, when I sent them the Old Fulton History website. My dad died a year before I started my research, and my mom wasn't very interested until right before she died in 2004. At that point, she started rattling off all kinds of family stories for me to record. My husband hates genealogy and thinks it's a complete waste of time and money, but his three younger brothers (in their 50s) are now asking me all kinds of questions about their ancestry. My sons are in their upper 20s and so far only my older son has shown any interest. He is mainly interested in my father's World War II experiences with the First Special Services Force. It was this son, however, who told me that he would never look at the documents, but would only be interested in the family history if it were in book form. That's what prompted me to start to write a book more than a year ago, of which I now have some 320 pages written

I've gotten info from other older relatives over the years. Some sent me old photos and shared stories. Although they initially saw no point to the research, I think they were lonely because they were widowed, and the family history information gave them someone with whom to communicate and something to look forward to, as I found new information and asked for their input.

I now have first cousins who are very interested, as well as one aunt, in her early 70s, and and one uncle, almost 80. I also have my mom's oldest friend, now 91, who is very interested. She knew my mom from the time they were both 4 years old and knew my mom's father, brother, and paternal grandmother, who all died before I was born and I never knew. She has been a wealth of information concerning my mom’s paternal ancestry.

Personally I don't think an interest in family history has anything to do with age. Some people like me just love to do research and to keep discovering more new information. I always thought that by now I would have lost interest in this research, but every new piece of information, regardless of how small, still sends me over the edge. My motivation has never been about getting dual citizenship. It’s always been about knowing my ancestry and who I really am.


I agree. Age has nothing to do with it. Some people start as young as 12 and others at 70. It just depends on whether you "get the bug" or not.

Nobody I know has been opposed to me doing genealogy. Most of my relatives try to help me as much as they can, and I've gotten a great deal of information from them.
My Italian surnames:



Caserta: Maietta, Rossano, Tessitore, Negro, Peluso, Musone



Campobasso: D'Andrea, Barile



Catanzaro: Fiorelli/Fiorillo, Romito

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby nazca » 16 Oct 2010, 15:13

Hi,
i have a similar story to tell: siblings and our own children are not interested. After 25 years i found a relatives in USA (i live in Italy): i wrote to all the people have my surname. In most case i haven't received an answer : only last year trough facebook i obtained a result. But no passion, no surprise, no news. I'm a bit sad for this but i'm still searching for my relatives.

Good Luck.
I'm searching lost relatives and descendant of my greatgrandfather Vincenzo Genualdi (or Gennaldi or Genuardi) and my greatgrandmother Concetta Davola (their sons: Angela, Carmela, Antonio, Bartolomeo, Ernesto, Simone, Riccardo, Maria) went in Chicago,Ill., and New Orleans, in 1880-1920 from Sicily. Other family related : Jacobucci or Jacopucci (from Central Italy).

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby thegreypigeon » 16 Oct 2010, 16:49

You are so right. My remaining elder relatives keep everything a secret as if they are one up. They have many photographs which they keep to themselves. What I found out shows that their stories are false but I know they wouldn't appreciate soem home truths.
The good thing is that the rest of my siblings have become hooked and are even discussing a trip to The old country.

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby ForzaItaliaPgh » 16 Oct 2010, 17:49

thegreypigeon wrote:You are so right. My remaining elder relatives keep everything a secret as if they are one up. They have many photographs which they keep to themselves. What I found out shows that their stories are false but I know they wouldn't appreciate soem home truths.
The good thing is that the rest of my siblings have become hooked and are even discussing a trip to The old country.


I'd love to get the whole family over to the ancestral commune. So far I'm the only one to make the trip. Maybe that would inspire them to learn more about our history.

I must say that my grandmother (who's line I'm not even researching) has been very helpful. She isn't interested in any of the info I discover, but she gave me a copy of my GGF's birth cert which really got me started on all this. And I was able to get a beautiful picture of my GGF and GGM on their wedding day. I actually have wedding pictures of 4 generations of my direct male descent line hanging in my dining room. I'd love to get another generation back, but I don't think they did that in the 1800's :(

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby tonij16102 » 16 Oct 2010, 23:58

One of the problems that I have encountered has been from relatives in Italy. While there one cousin from Caserta came to the home where I was. He went on to explain to my cousin how he was related to them her response amazed me when she told him there was no way they were related even though I had the Italian Documents that proved they were cousins. Another problem I had encountered was in searching was finding that some family members married outside their own villages but won't even consider that they are possibly related to the family in another village.

The last time I was in Italy I had found the bar a cousin owned sold it to another another cousin. To me this was the strangest of all. I made the comment how nice that they kept it the family. Upon hearing this they answered no cugino's we amici's. I told them or tried to explain they were in fact cousins. How could they not be? Christan's grandmother Cristina and Giuseppe's mother are first cousins. Does anyone know to what degree the Italians consider no relation then? I showed another cousin the book that I made and am very proud of he looked and laughed and said it was to much information they don't want to know that far back. Anyone have this problem?

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Lili2 » 17 Oct 2010, 01:30

Your observations are really interesting and I agree with many of your experiences as they have been similar to mine. I get the sense that my Italian cousins are indulging me when I ask them questions or if I ask them for help with our family history. I have perhaps one aunt and one cousin in her 70's who have shown interest but because I cant show them how to read the pedigree charts that I send them they get really confused by the info. Generally though my cousins in Australia, America and Italy dont really want to know. So this research is really something I enjoy and I've come to accept that others in the family will never find it as fascinating as I do.
My family are from Sicily: Fiumefreddo, Ficarra, Giampilieri, Cumia, Messina and Carmela Zagami,Argentina.

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Michael31 » 17 Oct 2010, 04:06

To Nazca

http://cookcountygenealogy.com/Search.aspx
Full Name Married To Record Type File Number Event Date
GENUALDI, ANDREW Birth 6024227 7/8/1932
GENUALDI, ANNA Birth 6009499 3/9/1932
GENUALDI, BIAGIO Birth 6035280 8/28/1931
GENUALDI, JOSEPH Birth 6049118 10/19/1924
GENUALDI, JOSEPHINE Birth 6006871 2/20/1926
GENUALDI, LORETA Birth 6033596 8/14/1918
GENUALDI, LORETTA Birth 6040349 8/26/1927
GENUALDI, MARANO Birth 6009576 3/7/1932
GENUALDI, MARTIN Birth 6008606 3/13/1933
GENUALDI, MARY Birth 6011633 3/26/1935
GENUALDI, PHYLLIS Birth 6027330 6/12/1927
GENUALDI, ROSE Birth 6022623 6/30/1934
GENUALDI, SALVATOR Birth 6034206 8/3/1930
GENUALDI, SALVATORE Birth 6055819 6/25/1916
GENUALDI, SALVATORE Birth 6061177 6/29/1924
GENUALDI, SALVATORE Birth 6059911 7/10/1925
GENUALDI, SALVATORE Birth 6050259 12/15/1931
GENUALDI, VINCENZA Birth 6053765 11/26/1921
GENUALDI, VIRGINIA Birth 6022204 5/24/1930

Full Name Married To Record Type File Number Event Date
GENNALDI, FRANK Birth 6046688 11/11/1919
GENNALDI, GIUSEPPA Birth 6055525 2/12/1918
GENNALDI, JEANNETTE Birth 6013686 3/24/1930
GENNALDI, JUNE Birth 6010585 3/12/1921

Full Name Married To Record Type File Number Event Date
GENUARDI, ANTHONY Birth 6006156 2/1/1928
GENUARDI, JOE Birth 6037169 8/18/1917

Full Name Married To Record Type File Number Event Date
DAVOLI, ANN FLYNN, THOMAS E Marriage 1681926 5/22/1941
DAVOLI, ANNA Birth 6034019 8/4/1918
DAVOLI, ANTHONY DE BOER, PATRICIA Marriage 1703032 10/4/1941
DAVOLI, ANTONIO Birth 6034482 9/23/1916

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby Eleven » 17 Oct 2010, 07:54

I think genealogy is something that gets into the blood of some, and not others. I have been working on mine for 18 years and still get jumpy up and down excited when I find something I have been looking for (and I am in my 60s).

I have also had relatives who go from interested to slightly interested to totally disinterested. Nobody is as interested as I am.

We had a family reunion last year, with just my husbands brothers, sister, their children and grandchildren (we are over 60 people). I had a beautiful wallchart made, with my inlaws names and info in the center..then to the right it had all of the ancestors and to the left all of their decendants. Of course, everyone who was there, had their name on this chart..so everyone was interested, even the kids. I ended up having to order 6 more of these charts for some who were there...so I guess that group was interested.

I amaze myself sometimes, how I have 4 main branches (both my parents branches and both my in laws) and I remember enough of all of it to answer almost any questions.

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Re: Older relatives just not interested

Postby wldspirit » 18 Oct 2010, 11:11

I have the same problem, the majority of the elders aren't talking, the younger generation just wants copies of documents I have gathered and then take credit for researching the family tree..... :roll:
Out of the 100's of photos I have maybe 10....no one wants to share despite offers of reimbursement for copies, and to further complicate matters.......you never know who is considered "dead" and in this family, if you talk to someone who has been declared dead, well then your dead to......talk about grudges!!
I'm now on the dead list for pulling skeletons out of closets and exposing lies....so far none of my children or grandchildren have shown any interest in what I'm doing, but I'll keep at it despite my ghostly status!! :lol:
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