Funny

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DonnaPellegrin
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Funny

Postby DonnaPellegrin » 16 May 2006, 02:18

A friend of mine sent this email to me and I admit it...I thought it was funny. Thought some of you might enjoy it as well
Donna


YOU KNOW YOU WERE AN ITALIAN-AMERICAN CHILD IF:

1. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.

2. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."

3. Your family dog understood Italian.

4. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.

5. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.

6. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.

7. You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal.

8. You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti
day.

9. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.

10. You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

11. You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.

12. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.

13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.

14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.

15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.

16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.

17. You ate your salad after the main course.

18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.

19. Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.

20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your
hand.

21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.

22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.

23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.

24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.

25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.

26. You have relatives you don't speak to.

27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.

28. You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.

29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.

30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.

31. You thought that talking loud was normal.

32. You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all
weddings.

33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in
their pockets by their relatives.

34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.

35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house.

36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.

37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian)

38. You called pasta "macaroni".

39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school 40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.

41. Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was
attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.

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Marisa6
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Re: Funny

Postby Marisa6 » 16 May 2006, 02:23

Oh - I love this. :D I saw it somewhere ages ago and then couldn't find it again. Thanks for posting it here.

Marisa XX
Visocchi, Forte, Marcantonio, Iannetta

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Nunsiata
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Re: Funny

Postby Nunsiata » 17 May 2006, 00:38

I can relate to that!
I thought of another one - although it may only be MY family who did this:
Italy was referred to as "the other side," as in "his brother still lives on the other side." I don't know where this comes from! Maybe it means the other side of the ocean.

N

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Re: Funny

Postby DonnaPellegrin » 17 May 2006, 00:49

Yeah, I'll bet we could add plenty more good ones to the list.

How about the horns. In my family everyone is very suspicious of compliments. Any one who gets a complinment in my family quickly makes the horns and says, "Don't faccina!" I have to admit...it is a hard habit to break and an easy one to pick up. My husband who is of German heritage occasionally accuses me of trying to faccina him. I'm not even sure if he's joking anymore!
Donna Pellegrin

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elba
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Re: Funny

Postby elba » 17 May 2006, 02:37

Hi DonnaPellegrin,
In response to your comment about 'the Horns' in Italian myth and legend , I thought you might like to see this.

http://www.luckymojo.com/corno.html

Lot's of things you probably did know, but I suspect some you didn't.............

elba
If you think education is expensive - try ignorance!
"Gente di Mare Genealogy"

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nuccia
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Re: Funny

Postby nuccia » 17 May 2006, 03:32

Hi Everyone!

Donna, I'm printing the above out for my kids. They thought it was a hoot! They want to go visit Nonna and Nonno and tease them a bit, but only after they have some salami which is still considered a staple in our home! Afterall, isn't one of the Five Food Groups? (at least that's what Jenny told her teacher when they were studying nutrition...got a call home that evening).

I remember seeing The Godfather when I was only 10...something that would not be considered age suitable now a days. And I enjoy The Sopranos in spite of the language which was never used in my parents house. Although my cousin and I did change that slightly. :(

Elba, thanks for the link...good reading. :D :D :D :D

Nuccia :D

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Re: Funny

Postby Marisa6 » 18 May 2006, 04:45

I've got another one

You get a moustache for your eighteenth birthday and you are a girl!

Hmm - must go and wax mine.........

Marisa
Visocchi, Forte, Marcantonio, Iannetta

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nuccia
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Re: Funny

Postby nuccia » 18 May 2006, 05:12

Marisa6,

I had salami at 5 am for breakfast, prusicutto for lunch and a pancetta sandwich for dinner with cheese.

Need to ponder my eating habits lately...but first I need another glass of wine!

And what about the "wispering" whenever our families talked about something that happened to someone else? There would be no one home and the windows were shut or we would be out in the middle of a farm and still they would wisper the gossip or bad news! Yet, everyone knew about it anyway!!! :lol: :lol:

Nuccia

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Re: Funny

Postby Marisa6 » 18 May 2006, 14:05

Nuccia

I'm giggling at that. I never ever questioned the fact that at my grandmothers, salami accompanied everything! In fact one of the enduring memories of my grandmothers house from when I was a child is the smell of salami, garlic and freshly ground coffee - (God forbid - never instant!!!!). The smell used to hit you as soon as you opened the door and to this day I still find the smell of Italian delis comforting and relaxing because they remind me so strongly!

My dad went of to college in his late teens and came back one weekend with tales of a strange and exotic green vegetable that he really liked that was served at the cafeteria. He didn't know what it was called, and no-one in the family could think what it was. After a process of elimination that took a couple of weeks they found out what it was - cabbage! I guess integration into the community didn't include the diet!!!!

Marisa xx
Visocchi, Forte, Marcantonio, Iannetta

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DonnaPellegrin
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Re: Funny

Postby DonnaPellegrin » 18 May 2006, 19:02

You guys have me cracking up. And thanks Elba for the link. That was fun to read.

We had the whispering too. How funny. I never thought about it before. I have heard that my Nonna was famous for her coffee on the farm.

And, I have a theory that the long life that my Italian ancestors enjoyed was directly linked to eating eggs and bacon/saugages for breakfast. How many of you guys have/had a relative live to be 100? I've got 3 on my family tree so far and many in the nineties.
Donna Pellegrin

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Re: Funny

Postby wldspirit » 18 May 2006, 19:32

Everyone in my family with the exception of Nonno, have lived very long lives......my Aunt is 91, and my Nonna was 93 or 94 when she passed.

Nonno's death was related to coal mining......something with the lungs.......

My favorite smell was the wine barrels in the basement.........Nonno would obtain a special permit to make 120 gallons each year. My Mother swears the key to a long life is daily consumption of red wine!!!!! And of course,
lots of garlic!!!!

Some of my non-Italian friends are shocked that I would allow my children to have a small glass on special occasions...... :roll: ......
wldspirit

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Re: Funny

Postby Marisa6 » 18 May 2006, 19:35

Now thats an interesting thought! My family certainly got through their share of artery-busting, high cholestrol food, (eggs, bacon, sausages SALAMI), and as you say still lived to their 90s. I had an old uncle who smoked 80 cigarettes a day and lived to be 94. He liked a good few glasses of wine too! You could never see him for the small purple cloud that enveloped him. He went into hospital for something routine, and they wouldn't let him smoke. He died while he was in there - and we reckon it was the fresh air that killed him :D

Another thing about being Italian. I thought that all family get-togethers and festive occasions meant a five hour sit-down meal. I still can't get my head round the fact that my husbands family actually get up from the table when they have finished eating. Finished??? In my family you never finished....
Visocchi, Forte, Marcantonio, Iannetta

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Marisa6
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Re: Funny

Postby Marisa6 » 18 May 2006, 19:39

Hi Wildspirit

I had my first glass of wine that was not diluted with lemonade when I was six. When we all got to be 18, my friends all went out to pubs and got drunk. I never did, because I couldn't see the attraction and I got wine if I wanted it at home! Its better that way I think :)

Marisa
Visocchi, Forte, Marcantonio, Iannetta

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Nunsiata
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Re: Funny

Postby Nunsiata » 19 May 2006, 02:59

You're right about the age thing! My Grandmother is one of thirteen kids - nine boys and four girls. All the boys died in their 60's - but all the girls lived to over 100 - 101, 104 & 102. Now, my Grandmother is the only one left - she's 97 and still mows her own lawn. My expectations are very high! I think it was the sugar - everyone baked and ate sweets at every meal. "Coffee and cake" every day!
And the smell of coffee & garlic (not necessarily together) does it for me!

N

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Re: Funny

Postby nuccia » 19 May 2006, 03:03

Marisa6 wrote:Hi Wildspirit

I had my first glass of wine that was not diluted with lemonade when I was six. When we all got to be 18, my friends all went out to pubs and got drunk. I never did, because I couldn't see the attraction and I got wine if I wanted it at home! Its better that way I think :)

Marisa


I'm with you on this one...neve locked the liquor cabinet in my house and my brother and sister and I don't really drink...

Most of my Dad's family lived long, too...could have been the fava beans with the wine... :lol:

Nuccia :D


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