need advice on disinterested but very important relative.

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denman922
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need advice on disinterested but very important relative.

Postby denman922 » 28 Jun 2007, 13:04

I'm sure everyone here has more than a few relatives that are really not interested in family history/research.

How does one deal with that when they are the same person you need more info from?

I try to contact descendants of my Great grandparents' brothers and sisters. In some cases there has been no family contact in 60/70 years or more. I


I have a relative in New Jersey I am unable to contact. I wrote to her address but I did not get a response, it is quite important to me to get in touch with her, or one of her younger siblings. She is my grandmothers cousin, Lillian. They probably have not spoken in 35 years. A very large family, and it is hard to stay in touch with everyone. Lillians older sister, Mary was very close to my granmother though. Mary was a very nice lady and she was also a camera jockey. When Mary died in 1984, Lillian handled the "arrangements" and also has all of Mary's personal effects.

Her younger siblings are from her mothers second marriage and I am unable to find them or thier descendants.

Is it appropriate for me to just FLY to Jersey and knock on the door after all these years? I'm only 41, she is 90 and I don't think we ever met.

I don't think there was "bad blood".

I am trying to get in touch with Lillian, she has one son,and he never married and has no children. SO, any papers,documents or old photos of the family may be lost forever since the son does not have anyone to pass these things onto.

Dennis
Descendant of Rotolo of Rizziconi, Cabriel/Gabriel of Belluno(BL), Froner,Ell,Ognibeni,Moschen of Levico Terme(TN), Libardi,Avancini of Barco di Levico(TN), Bernardi of Ponte nelle Alpi(BL), Metz of Bronzolo(BZ), Bonatti of Martello (BZ),Atz of Salorno(BZ

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Marlena
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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby Marlena » 28 Jun 2007, 14:43

Is there a way to contact the son, may be he will be more approachable and willing to accompany you? I think it may be a bit frightening for someone of 90 to let a stranger into her home, relative or not.

I just met a cousin, sight unseen, and she welcomed me into her home for three days but she is in her 50's and we had many conversations prior. It turned out to be a great !

I wish you luck!
Marlene
Trabia, Sicily: Rinella, Campagna, Rubino, DiMatteo, Vallelunga, Gattuccio, Canciamilla, Arena, Alario, Barone, Sunseri, Trapani, Turturice Bell, Lima, Romano, Spitaleri, Cancilla,Tardio, Novello Tomasello, Sunseri Pirotto, and D'Anna.

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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby Gina501 » 28 Jun 2007, 14:49

Dennis....I would fly there and knock on her door. But that is me. Actually why don't you send a letter telling her that you will be in NJ on such and such a day and will come by to talk with her. That will get a repsonse from her if she doesn't want you to come.
Gina
Searching for surnames Ignazio, Graziano, Trella, Del Principe, Biani, Subrizi, Della Valle

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denman922
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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby denman922 » 28 Jun 2007, 14:55

Well, I addressed the letter I wrote them to both of them. I sent pictures of her when she was younger, photos of her parents, a family tree to show how we are related, an explanation of what I was doing.

I think I would probably have better luck with one of her younger siblings descendants. But I do not know how to find out who they are. From 1930 census i have thier names, but I suspect they are no longer living. So. I would have to try with thier children I guess.

Problem also is, surname of the four younger siblings is CUTLER, kinda common.
Descendant of Rotolo of Rizziconi, Cabriel/Gabriel of Belluno(BL), Froner,Ell,Ognibeni,Moschen of Levico Terme(TN), Libardi,Avancini of Barco di Levico(TN), Bernardi of Ponte nelle Alpi(BL), Metz of Bronzolo(BZ), Bonatti of Martello (BZ),Atz of Salorno(BZ

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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby Marlena » 28 Jun 2007, 15:03

Then I would do as Gina501 says. Time to get gutsy or your chances may pass. I feel your pain on this one!
Marlene
Trabia, Sicily: Rinella, Campagna, Rubino, DiMatteo, Vallelunga, Gattuccio, Canciamilla, Arena, Alario, Barone, Sunseri, Trapani, Turturice Bell, Lima, Romano, Spitaleri, Cancilla,Tardio, Novello Tomasello, Sunseri Pirotto, and D'Anna.

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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby Gina501 » 28 Jun 2007, 15:04

Yes...time is running out. After all...she is 90.
Gina

Searching for surnames Ignazio, Graziano, Trella, Del Principe, Biani, Subrizi, Della Valle



http://ignaziogenealogy.com

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misbris
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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby misbris » 28 Jun 2007, 18:59

Dennis,

I am in NJ. I don't know where the family is, but if you send me a pm with names and addresses, I'll try to investigate for you.

Mary Jo

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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby suanj » 28 Jun 2007, 19:38

misbris wrote:Dennis,

I am in NJ. I don't know where the family is, but if you send me a pm with names and addresses, I'll try to investigate for you.

Mary Jo

this is a good idea Mary Jo!

regards, suanj
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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby Essgee » 29 Jun 2007, 02:16

Have you thought of just calling her?

It could be that she is not well enought to write. Maybe someone else is caring for her at home. You can speak to whoever answers the phone. Sometimes you get lucky. But mostly it will answer your questions. If she is incapable of helping, then contact the son. See what he can do for you.

But a phone call is quick and easy and you will have an answer in a brief period of time. I have called people all over the US...even Italy...and spoken with them. They are very gracious once you speak to them.

Remember, she might not be able to read anymore...small type. So the sound of a voice might just do it.

Good Luck

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Re: need advice on disiterested but very important relative.

Postby denman922 » 29 Jun 2007, 02:20

Thanks, but there is no listing, just the area code listed. I would have done that for sure. I even called other people in NJ with the same last name and they said they were not related to her.

Dennis
Descendant of Rotolo of Rizziconi, Cabriel/Gabriel of Belluno(BL), Froner,Ell,Ognibeni,Moschen of Levico Terme(TN), Libardi,Avancini of Barco di Levico(TN), Bernardi of Ponte nelle Alpi(BL), Metz of Bronzolo(BZ), Bonatti of Martello (BZ),Atz of Salorno(BZ


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