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Well I think you're pretty darn lucky because my Italian relatives are just like what Corrado and VG described. I got in touch with the children of my mom's first cousins in Italy and we e-mailed a couple times and they were really nice and even sent me a bunch of family pictures. Then I couldn't get them to respond to my letters or emails anymore. I thought maybe I wrote something that offended them but honestly I was just as nice as pie and didn't act real nosy or anything. So who knows? After awhile I just gave up because I didn't want to seem like a scary stalker American cousin.donnawright wrote:And, I have also found distant cousins in Italy on my dad's side. They send cards, letters, and photos. I sent a copy of my family tree. They did some collaboration and it was returned to me with corrections and additions. Distant cousins are my new best friends. Yeah!
It was just the same for me. It was so exciting when they first wrote back and sent me some pictures and other stuff but it seems like the novely wore off after a couple letters and they never wrote back anymore after that. I tried a few times after that and nothing.vintagegamer wrote:but after the feeling of having achieved something incredible by having found this family again, it's a bit disappointing when they don't reply to emails or questions.
I didn't want my request to sound in any way like an ultimatum, hopefully they didn't take it as such- I just wanted them to know that if they were looking for our line of communication just to be a once a year thing, or "great, I know you're there" and that's it, that was fine- I just wanted to understand what the level of expectation was going to be. I went through quite a bit of effort and research on my end to find them, so in my eyes the least they could do was let me know if they were wanting to keep in contact with me or not!tinagrenier wrote:I never tried giving an ultimatum like that cuz I didn't want to seem pushy. It's been awhile since I last tried to write so maybe i'll give it a try and see what happens. Like someone else here said I don't expect them to be my best friend I just want to know more about the relatives that stayed in Italy. Glad you finally got them to write back to you! I'll let you know how it works out for me.
Tina, I don’t know if I agree at all with this tactic. Most people will react quickly if they feel like they’ve been perceived as rude. So in the short run you might guilt your cousin into writing back to you but I don’t think it’s going to leave a very nice impression. If you want to try again I think it would be better to just send a nice letter and keep everything light, no pressure. Good luck!tinagrenier wrote:I never tried giving an ultimatum like that cuz I didn't want to seem pushy. It's been awhile since I last tried to write so maybe i'll give it a try and see what happens.
I still don't understand how what I wrote above would be perceived as an "ultimatum", but whatever. The person has been responding to me so I do not believe it was in any way taken as an ultimatum, or rude in any way.I wrote yesterday and politely told them that I was very interested in learning more about them and their family, but that I did not want to be a bother. I stated kindly that if I was asking too many questions to simply let me know and I would stop asking...