Funeral Rites

[Italysearcher]

My father in law died in hospital in Frosinone recently. If you are interested in knowing more about Italian funeral traditions its an interesting read.
www,angelcommunications.spaces.live.com

[johnnyonthespot]

Ann,

Thank you for sharing (I think!).

I have never been directly involved in planning a funeral, so I have nothing to compare your experiences with, however I am certain that it would be quite different here in the US.

My wife and I continue to comtemplate moving to Italy and, with me in my late 50's and she mid-50's, it has occurred to me that we have to be prepared for the possibility of enduring serious health problems and/or death of either of us. It is stories such as yours which give me pause and leave me wondering just how practical a move would be for us...

My condolences on the loss of your Peppe.

Carmine

[Italysearcher]

Dying at home is a much different story as my book describes. More peaceful and private but still everything happens within 24 hours.
I thank you for your condolences.
My book describes my daily life dealing with the culture, people and bureaucracy over the last 10 years. If you decide to move here, choose your town carefully especially if you don't speak Italian.

[donnawright]

The link isn't working for me. I'd like to read this, however.

[Italysearcher]

Sorry,
www.angelcommunications.spaces.live.com
should get you the blog.

[maestra36]

Donna
See if this link works.

http://angelcommunications.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?

Thanks, Ann, for sharing the experience with us. My condolences to you and your family.

[Squigy]

Thanks for sharing, Ann. Your website is very interesting. I find it fascinating how you moved to Italy and adjusted to it, and its culture. Are you from the US?

[johnnyonthespot]

Thanks for sharing, Ann. Your website is very interesting. I find it fascinating how you moved to Italy and adjusted to it, and its culture. Are you from the US?

Squiggy,

Ann's profile on her website ( http://cid-c81a94e0105d3b45.profile.live.com/details/ ) indicates "Places lived: England, Canada, Italy".

If I recall correctly, she was born in England but I am not certain.

[Italysearcher]

I was born in England, you are correct. I emigrated to Canada age 21 with my English husband. After his death I married an Italian from Sora. The adjustment to the culture here is an ongoing challenge. What surprises me the most is the people's acceptance of things we would find unacceptable.

[oilman19]

From my experience of planning and attending funerals here in the states, i was flabbergasted by what you had to endure. I have to ask, is this the norm throughout Italy?
Our funeral directors simply take charge and everything is done according to your wishes. While they get paid handsomely, you are allowed to spend whatever time you need to grieve with family and friends. We don't seem to have the kinds of laws/rules that shackled you and your family.
I am saddened by what you had to endure.

Jim

[johnnyonthespot]

Ann, please correct me if I am wrong, but I think the most critical difference is that bodies are typically not embalmed in Italy, thus the very limited time available for viewing, grieving, etc.

[Italysearcher]

Typically bodies are not embalmed, why bother when traditionally the burial takes place within 24 hours. I believe Napoleon set this procedure up and I suppose it worked in the early 1800's but it 2010, time for a change of attitude at least.
It is no longer law that the burial must take place within 24 hours and when family are expected from overseas the body is embalmed.
As far as grieving is concerned it doesn't leave much time to feel sorry for yourself. Arrangements must be made, family gathers around, visits are made complete with the 'canistro'. Others take care of mundane things like cooking meals and the family all eat together.
It works, except for the dying in hospital part. I suppose some hospitals are better set up for this but Frosinone is NOT one of them.

[oilman19]

I found some additional info today. My distant cousin who is a mortician by trade, informed me that in Italy today, after approx. 6-10 years, a person's grave is disinterred and the bones placed in a common area in order to make room for another burial. I guess they don't do cremation.

Jim

[johnnyonthespot]

I found some additional info today. My distant cousin who is a mortician by trade, informed me that in Italy today, after approx. 6-10 years, a person's grave is disinterred and the bones placed in a common area in order to make room for another burial. I guess they don't do cremation.

Jim

Jim,
I think the concept is correct but the timing is off a bit. We discussed this a few times; here is one thread: http://italiangenealogy.com/Forums/viewtopic/t=10892/

Carmine

[pink67]

"ruels" in these cases can be different form town to town...
For "interred" graves there is the disiterredment after a tot years...
If a person is buried in a "colombarium" the "concession" has a duration... you can buy it for a tot years (the duration can be different from Town to Town, usually 30/50 years)...
Here, until the 1950/1960 the Concessions were perpetual... now it's no possible.
However evry Comune has his "Regolamento Cimiteriale"...
My father in law bought the colombarium for him and his wife before dying, this is not possible (for example) in the Comune where I live... a family can buy the "concession" for a colombarium only at the moment of the death of the relative...
Laura

for references, the italian rule for the Cemetery:

http://www.comune.pesaro.pu.it/fileadmi ... PR_285.pdf