Missing part of me....

by D » 31 Oct 2002, 00:32

At 27 years old, I am still desperately searching for my father. My mother lived in Chicago, Illinois where she was born and raised. She met my father who came to the US to see his brother, or so I have been told. My mother and father began dating and had a brief romance. My mother then gives my father the new that he is going to be a father and that she is pregnant. I have been told my father found out and was excited and being the true Italian man that he was immediately asked my mother to marry him. She declined his proposal. My father wanted my mom to marry him and move to Italy and raise me in Italy. She could not leave her family and move to a foreign place, so marriage and re-locating was not an option. My father continued support her decision and they continued to date. I was born on October 11, 1975, my father made one last attempt and after I was born, he purposed marriage and re-locating again. My mother now more than ever could not re-locate and leave her family, she again refused and coincidentally never married and dedicated her entire life to providing for me and raising me. Shortly after I was born, my father had to return to Italy and my mom and him decided he would go and that she would try to keep the same phone number and address, as long as she could. I believe that was the last time they ever spoke. My mother kept her promise for about two years, but then she moved away from Chicago and moved to the northern suburbs for my benefit. All my life I have wondered of my father, and really have always been searching. I called Italy and Sicily several times when I was in grade school. Could you even imagine my moms face when she read the print out of the phone bill.... She couldn\'t yell, because she understood why I did. As a child I thought I would just call and have the operator connect me to my dad. I often wonder what I get from my mom and what I have got from my dad. Part of me has never been explained, discovered, or known. That is really hard to deal with as a child growing up and maybe even more so as an adult. I do not doubt for one bit, that I am not thought of and loved by my father, however it is the unknowing that is hard to take in. Is he, has he, ever tried searching for me or my mom? Have I been entirely forgotten? The language and distance involved from the states to Italy is very hard to over come, you can only do so much, and the dream begins to fade and reality begin to settle in. Leaving me only with a few details that my mom has shared with me. My father, Michael Mangialardi - My mom actually spelled it differently, as Manglardi, who may have been in the Italian Army, lived 200 miles north of Rome and at one time had a brother living in the states. Through searching databases, under the name Mangialardi I found reference to the City Bari. He was very stern and spoken to with a great deal of respect from everyone. Also while in the states my mother said he managed a dance studio. Not much really much but at least it is something. The best thing I have is, two pictures of my father holding me as a baby. I was married in September of 1998 and my something old was the picture of my father, who due my parents future life decisions, I could not be walked down the isle by my father. At least having that picture with me, I had a part of him with me. My husband and I are beginning to start our own family now and each time we talk about it all I can think of is my father and how although my children will not have to go through life searching for one of their parents they like myself, will not be given the chance to meet my father- their grandfather. Deana Any advise???Michael Mangialardi

by **ptimber** » 31 Oct 2002, 04:12

I am sorry that you e-mailed my personal e-mail since I would have answered you on this website. I am at a loss to understand why you contacted me personally when you put your inquiry into this website too!. Why bother me personally when I normally do not respond to personal approaches to genenalogy on my e-mail. I find this hurtful since I was led to believe that you were trying to discusss something PRIVATE IN YOUR LIFE. Please refrain from e-mailing me ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Peter

by **Bette** » 31 Oct 2002, 06:49

Have you written to any of the Mangialardi\'s in the Italian White pages? You could include a copy of his photograph. My recommendation would be not to go into all the details that you gave here. They can be very skeptical of mail they receive and the motivation behind the mail. However, you could state that you are seeking this man because he was a friend of your mother and you would like to get in touch with him. If his name was \"Michael\" in the US, it was probably \"Michele\" in Italy. There are a lot of Mangialardi\'s located in Bari, per the Internet Italian White Pages: http://elenco.virgilio.it/cerca.html Good Luck, Bette <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_cool.gif">

by **ptimber** » 13 Nov 2002, 06:59

Have you heard anything from Italy yet? Peter

by D » 13 Nov 2002, 16:49

I haven\'t as of yet, however I did send a brief letter as you advised, along with a self-addressed envelope and a dollar bill, I also scanned the two pictures that I had and included copies in each letter I sent. I assume that If I get any responses back it will be within the next couple weeks. So now \"I wait and chross my fingers\".

by **ptimber** » 13 Nov 2002, 22:30

....AND LIGHT A CANDLE TOO! Peter

by **Maurizio** » 19 Nov 2002, 17:33

Hi Deana. Maybe I found something interesting for you. But I\'d prefer to talk you privately... Send me a message, if you want. Ciao, Maurizio

by **ptimber** » 20 Nov 2002, 17:05

By the way did Michael have a brother in Chicago named Francesco? i don;t know if I mentioned that in my e-mail to you. Maurizio triggered my memory. Peter

by D » 20 Nov 2002, 17:21

He did have a brother in Chicago, who owned a party/flower store, however my mom could not remeber his name...