No Blood Relation

[darkerhorse]

My grandfather had a friend with no known blood relation between them, but three of the friend’s paternal aunts married three of my grandfather’s paternal uncles. As a result, they shared three sets of uncles, aunts, and 1st cousins, only the friend’s blood relation was to the aunts while my grandfather’s blood relation was to the uncles.

The friend was considered related to my grandfather’s side of the family but I don’t recall if he was ever referred to as a “cousin” or any other title.

So, this friend was the son of the brother of three of my grandfather’s paternal aunts by marriage. I was wondering if Italians, especially Sicilians, would consider them to be family, cousins, or whatever? Is there a term for their relationship – “cousins-in-law”?

[PippoM]

Not, as far as I know.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if your GF called him "zio".
The multiple "relation" to him, in fact made him a member of family!

[darkerhorse]

Doesn't zio mean uncle?

They were the same generation, about seven years apart in age.

[PippoM]

You are right, they were the same generation.
So, maybe he said he was a "cugino", though he wasn't properly.

[darkerhorse]

One relative suggested they were "cumpari". I know what it means but I don't recall that term ever being used in the family.

[PippoM]

"Compare", strictly speaking, is a godparent. But in family relations, this term had a more extensive use. For instance, the godfather of one child could be called "compare" by all his siblings.

[MaddalenaNYC]

I was a godchild with no blood relation to my godfather, he was married to my paternal aunt, but no blood relation to him or to his very large Sicilian family. I called his mother, Nonna, I called his siblings and their spouses aunt and uncle. All we kids just called each other cousin. It was wonderful growing up with that family.

[darkerhorse]

I don't know how my grandfather referred to his "cousin-in-law" but I do remember he was considered "family".

[MaddalenaNYC]

That’s the beauty of being Italian. Family isn’t always about “blood”.
You marry into a family, then you are family. You are a close and trusted friend, then you are family.

[MaddalenaNYC]

Zio is uncle and zia is aunt. But I would did like to say more about godchildren. This is a sacred bond among many cultures.

[darkerhorse]

My grandparents were godparents to the "cousin's" first child, a son, but I think that was more effect than cause of their close relationship which had preexisted.

The "cousin's" second son became a priest and he read prayers at my grandparents' funerals.

Unfortunately, I have no contact with descendants of the "cousin".

[MaddalenaNYC]

Well, it ain’t the old days anymore. I have no contact with my cousins through my godfather. There is no fault to that. We’re all getting older and although there was a time when those who came to the US banded together as one family, living in the same place, has ended. People move and grow and expand.
But the memories keep it all alive.
I am so grateful to be an Italian American to relish in the memories of my childhood where we all were related whether in Brooklyn or the Bronx, Westchester or Long Island.

That feeling of warmth and safety, I will never forget.
Back then, everywhere you looked, you saw a cousin, an aunt, an uncle.
Those were good times.

[MaddalenaNYC]

Sometimes not do good as if you misbehaved on the block, a relative knew about it.

[darkerhorse]

My grandfather had a friend with no known blood relation between them, but three of the friend’s paternal aunts married three of my grandfather’s paternal uncles. As a result, they shared three sets of uncles, aunts, and 1st cousins, only the friend’s blood relation was to the aunts while my grandfather’s blood relation was to the uncles.

The friend was considered related to my grandfather’s side of the family but I don’t recall if he was ever referred to as a “cousin” or any other title.

So, this friend was the son of the brother of three of my grandfather’s paternal aunts by marriage. I was wondering if Italians, especially Sicilians, would consider them to be family, cousins, or whatever? Is there a term for their relationship – “cousins-in-law”?

In an English language narrative which is the best descriptor: "cousin" with quotation marks indicating not an actual cousin but considered as one; cousin-in-law; cousin-by-marriage; or cumpari? I currently explain the relationship, and use "cousin" from then on, but I was thinking of switching to cousin-by-marriage.

[darkerhorse]

My father would just say "he's from your grandfather's side of the family". I don't think he was ever referred to as a cousin per se. But the implication was that he was related to us. The fact that they had the same personal name and surname, and were from the same town, only strengthened the implication.