Older relatives just not interested

[jpetrelli]

I think that genealogy is a passion which cannot be understood until you have tasted it

I have said the same thing myself about genealogy research.

I have found that family members are either (a) really into it, but prefer to let you do the dirty work, (b) politely feigns interest, or (c) don't care at all.

Of course, all that is unless you uncover some truly notable family events or stories... Then they want to share the story as if they found it themselves!

I take pleasure in the challenge, the thrill of making a discovery and in the way it has given me an excuse and reason to reach out to extended family I barely know.

There are definitely worse hobbies.

[DeFilippis78]

So true. I mean what are we really doing wrong? I had one relative tell me they are only interested if I discover royalty and another look me dead in the face and say "why do you care about all these dead people?" I was horrified. Dead people??? I said "This is your family, where you came from, how could you not care?" Ive actually gotten in heated arguments. Its a shame but its been a hobby of mine for 10 years and is like a full time job. I brought people back to life that all my living relatives didnt even know existed. I went to graves and laid flowers and said prayers for ancestors that living family didnt even know were there. Its an amazing feeling. A connection.

Alicia

[ForzaItaliaPgh]

Well said Alicia. I guess we all hope that this is something that will bring our family together and its a bit disappointing when they don't care or worse are hostile.

[DeFilippis78]

Sometimes I feel closer to the dead ones than the live ones, LOL!

[Squigy]

Lee,

That stinks! Finding photos of ancestors is one of the things I enjoy most in genealogy. In fact, most of the time if I ask cousins or other family members for pictures, they agree, but then I don't hear back from them, and I contact them again and again until they feel pressured to get me the copies. Sounds rude, but you have to know whats more important. I also received a scrapbook that I got the feeling was just sent to shut me up (plus, the man who sent it probably couldn't care less about it anyway).

Anyway, the way I view it is, if I don't grab what I can now, it's going to be gone. I'm preserving my ancestry for future generations who may one day be interested in it, and some times you have to get on some peoples nerves to do that.

[Squigy]

Tina,

I think the things Forza Italia said need to be told. Covering them up only hides the pain our ancestors went through, it doesn't undo it. My great grandparents obviously had a hard time growing up, especially my great grandmother (although she never talked about it). She wore white powder, would talk about getting surgery to fix her nose, and would always tell my mother "Oh, how lucky you are, you look Irish!" And whenever my mother asked her to teach her Italian, she refused, saying she hardly knew it anymore (which was, frankly, untrue). I get the feeling WWII made her self conscious about speaking Italian.

One thing I think is funny is, through all this, they were very proud to be Italian. I think it's nice that, even though they suffered a good deal of prejudice, they never lost touch with their roots.

[tinagrenier]

I think the things Forza Italia said need to be told. Covering them up only hides the pain our ancestors went through, it doesn't undo it.

Hi Squigy, I would never advocate for covering up the past, that's not what I meant. I never said we should cover anything up or forget about the sad stories of the past. I feel terrible for anyone who had to endure these kinds of things and I certainly don't expect them to hide their pain or pretend like nothing ever happened. Such horrible stories, my heart really goes out to these people.

[wldspirit]

Finding photos of ancestors is one of the things I enjoy most in genealogy.

Me too Squigy......I've asked repeatedly. I think it brings life to those you didn't know, instead of just a name you have a face to go with that name.

I had a cousin in France who made contact with me last year, dear Elba (Carole) was kind enough to translate for me. He found me on one of my first postings when I started this journey several years ago, a complete stranger sends me photos of my family yet those who I have known since birth can't be bothered to send copies of what they have and they live right here in the U.S.....now that's pathetic.

[Squigy]

Finding photos of ancestors is one of the things I enjoy most in genealogy.

Me too Squigy......I've asked repeatedly. I think it brings life to those you didn't know, instead of just a name you have a face to go with that name.

I had a cousin in France who made contact with me last year, dear Elba (Carole) was kind enough to translate for me. He found me on one of my first postings when I started this journey several years ago, a complete stranger sends me photos of my family yet those who I have known since birth can't be bothered to send copies of what they have and they live right here in the U.S.....now that's pathetic.

I agree, having pictures of ancestors sort of brings them to life. Have you tried contacting the children and granchildren of deceased aunts and uncles? Usually the cousins you don't know so well are less likely to say no

[ForzaItaliaPgh]

Getting photos does help to bring these people back from the mists into clear view again. What is the oldest photo you have? From the little research I've done online, photos started in the 1830's, anyone ever gotten a picture from the 19th century? The oldest ones I have are from the 1920's.

[Squigy]

Getting photos does help to bring these people back from the mists into clear view again. What is the oldest photo you have? From the little research I've done online, photos started in the 1830's, anyone ever gotten a picture from the 19th century? The oldest ones I have are from the 1920's.

One of the oldest photo I have is one I recently got from my father's side of my g-g-g-g grandparents. I'm not sure when it was taken. No earlier then 1890 (the year my GX4 grandfather died), and I would guess it was taken around 1880. The oldest photo (that last one I mentioned was of the oldest ancestors) would be of my g-g-g grandparents (again, on my non-Italian father's side), taken around 1875.

On my Italian side, I think the oldest photo I have is 1906.

[DeFilippis78]

Getting photos does help to bring these people back from the mists into clear view again. What is the oldest photo you have? From the little research I've done online, photos started in the 1830's, anyone ever gotten a picture from the 19th century? The oldest ones I have are from the 1920's.

Me too, the oldest is 20s or 30s. And nobody anywhere on either side of my family has pics. I was lucky enough to go to the graves of my great grandparents to find out their portrait was on the tomb stone. But it was pics of when they were older so it was a bit of a disappointment but at least something.

[wldspirit]

The oldest I have is done on a type of cardboard for lack of a better term, taken about 1890.

I think I'm going to attempt to write a heartfelt letter to a few more relatives, see if that gets me anywhere....doubtful, but worth a shot.

Maybe if they don't give me what I want, I can blackmail them with all the skeletons in the closet!!

[ForzaItaliaPgh]

Maybe if they don't give me what I want, I can blackmail them with all the skeletons in the closet!!

I like the idea