Autosomal DNA 1st cousin mystery

[afecad]

Photo compare doesn't work too well for comparisons of parents vs. offspring. Just reviewing the photos, I'd say the shared trait is the nose and other features answer your question again...

[MarcuccioV]

Photo compare doesn't work too well for comparisons of parents vs. offspring. Just reviewing the photos, I'd say the shared trait is the nose and other features answer your question again...

I sent my "diplomatic message". We'll just have to wait and see if she will be receptive to the discovery or not. I hope she will be, but I'm comfortable at least knowing the truth now for myself.

[afecad]

I sent my "diplomatic message". We'll just have to wait and see if she will be receptive to the discovery or not. I hope she will be, but I'm comfortable at least knowing the truth now for myself.

I don't know how all people take it, Unsolved Mysteries TV show back in the 90's did this often. Obviously these people had time to prepare...

[MarcuccioV]

I sent my "diplomatic message". We'll just have to wait and see if she will be receptive to the discovery or not. I hope she will be, but I'm comfortable at least knowing the truth now for myself.

I don't know how all people take it, Unsolved Mysteries TV show back in the 90's did this often. Obviously these people had time to prepare...

She responded back and wants to learn more. She is still a little reticent to give away much info, but just the fact that she didn't blow me off as crazy is a good sign...

[darkerhorse]

That is a good sign. Though you can't blame her for being guarded.

[MarcuccioV]

That is a good sign. Though you can't blame her for being guarded.

Absolutely not. And I indicated that I understood her position completely. I can't imagine how something like this from out of the blue must feel. Fortunately I'm very patient, and told her to take all the time she needs.

Now I think she's trying to find corroborating documentation, but I advised her she may never find any.

This has been a well-kept family secret for over 6 decades, and would probably never have come to light without the DNA match...

[afecad]

She responded back and wants to learn more. She is still a little reticent to give away much info, but just the fact that she didn't blow me off as crazy is a good sign...

That's good, you have to look at it from her perspective, the news can be shocking to find out...

[MarcuccioV]

She responded back and wants to learn more. She is still a little reticent to give away much info, but just the fact that she didn't blow me off as crazy is a good sign...

That's good, you have to look at it from her perspective, the news can be shocking to find out...

Agreed. That's why I'm giving her a wide berth to soak it all in. The fact that she did not categorically deny it and seems at least to be giving it serious consideration gives me hope. That's all I can ask for...

[MarcuccioV]

My best friend (brother-in-law of my 'known' first cousin that resembles mystery cousin) asked me if she was adopted and if she was raised by her mother. She has indicated she was not adopted. She does, however, on her Ancestry tree refer to her mom as her "birth mother", which is an interesting choice of words. My guess is they were estranged, as based on records that she posted on her own tree her mom was married & divorced frequently.

I also know (based on info I learned about one of my paternal uncles) that back the day, if no paternity test was done, at least here in CA a child of 'unknown paternity' was automatically assigned to the mother's husband (in my paternal uncle's case, his estranged wife had 2 kids after they broke up who were assigned to him since they were not yet divorced).

At this point that is all I know and I will have to wait until (or if) she is willing to share more. I'm not going to press her on the subject. The last thing I want is to alienate her.

[MarcuccioV]

Anyone see any resemblance here..?

Mystery cousin and "our" grandmother...

[MarcuccioV]

Facial comparison software shows a 62% similarity. That's pretty close for 2 different people 2 generations apart.

[MarcuccioV]

Facial comparison put THESE two at 66%. The comparison THIS time is with my mother...

[darkerhorse]

Is your mother her aunt?

[MarcuccioV]

Is your mother her aunt?

Yes, my mother would have been her aunt. My mom's twin brother would have been her father...

[darkerhorse]

Have you matched photos of Deborah and your mother's twin brother?